melancholic clairvoyant

it has been some time since i've blog-ed a proper post.due to the fact that i'm either lazy,busy pet society-ing; war mafia-ing or i'm busy with work/projects.of course the last option would happen the least.anyway,i'm beginning to feel stressed out.everything seems to come down on me hard.

first,needless to say,its my fyp.from our trip to the repository building today and having talked to our PI,i realised that we're too behind time.alot of things supposed to be done are of course,undone.in the end,cyndee and me came to this conclusion that we have no choice but to add in generous amount of fertilisers to promote the growth of whatever plants we chose thanks to time constrain.but i have to admit over the past couple of mths,we only put in minimal effort in our projects.and that is enough reason to explain everything.similarly,we've decided to put our focus on just doing rooftop gardening instead of the initial rooftop & vertical gardening.which means,our previous time and sweat and effort in visiting the hort park went down the drain.this is something which i hated most.imagine u've spent so much effort in doing something and in the end,u've to give up reluctantly~ one more thing which i hate to mention but i have to is my log book and online portal.both are still BLANK despite the fact that we have so so so many meeting already.researchs in 0% done!

next,work.i dont know what's happening to me that i've kept making mistake(s) times and again in a single day.if i havent mention this yr is the second yr i'm in this company,people would have thought i'm a newcomer with all the mistakes made.and i hate to make all these silly mistakes in front of my DM.i really felt so embarassed by it.shyt!

coming up,my r/s with my bf.i've been quarrelling with him for this couple of weeks for all kinds of silly reasons.or perhaps,he likes to do all kinds of nonsense to anger me otherwise,he would be so tactless in his words that displease me so much.i'm really getting sick and tired of all the nonsense.all he'll ever do is to say sorry and let the same old thing happen again.i'm not bad-mouthing about him here,in fact i've actually told him the same thing this morning when we had a major tiff.anyway,i really couldnt understand why he always like to immerse himself in work?everytime he asked to meet me would be in such hurry.(u can check with xiuzhen,she knows it too well.)and the super not creative reason he gave would be "i've got so much work to do.so many reports to write.aiya,u wont understand de la." i'm really getting fed up by such comments.and he always claims he work till late night every single day.imagine ystd is sun and yet he still have to go back to office!?!what nonsense..

my mum is the next thing.these days,she is really so irritable that she practically scold me for any and everything i do!its as if whatever things that came out from me,she finds it an eyesore.she really enjoys scolding and nagging at me. =.=

money is one more factor.seriously,i swear ang xiuzhen implanted her spendthrift genes in me.i've been having this urge of spending money every now and then.this have got nothing wrong.but the problem is,i'm too broke for anything now.i'm really getting too much money from my bf that nowadays i felt so embarass to do so even though my colleagues insist that i'm entitled to this benefit.i've done a brief window-shopping in the evening and i realised that i've too many things in my wishlist.the desired;the wants just all kept coming.but the money,the enthu for work is dying..

lastly,somebody pls help me do something to my gpa.it is exactly like the current stock market!!!

things hasnt been going smoothly for me.many many factors are really hindering me from sucess;from my target.i've really tried so hard to make things go well,apparently,lady luck has repelled further away from me.i still remember qy once told me that when things get bad,it wouldnt get any worse.and i believed it.just like what exactly happen to my bf last yr.if i havent remembered wrongly,he felt his future is so bleak in the company that he tendered his resignation letter on the first of sep.within few days he withdrew it.upon withdrawing,he was promoted and exactly a week before the financial crisis which happens somewhere around christmas,he got a pay rise.and this explains why i truly believe what qy has said.and the story goes,i guess i've not reach the rock bottom yet.

just random:

as i told qiuyan its been long since i've stepped into kbox,she exclaimed:"Pi lorx!u just went with xiuzhen only ok!"(translated from chinese) my point is,xiuzhen,u're really popular among my best friends.even krystal who have nv seen u could recognise u from the first look.

last week,one of the chef was looking at my phone.the DP is the one i took with xiuzhen(last pic of 31 Jan,if u're curious).he says (coldly): how come her (xz) eye one big one small? (translated from chinese) o.O

YYY

因为曾经拥有，所以笑。
11:38:00 PM