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                                                                                                <div class=h4> 
                                                                                                <div class=header>Monday, February 28, 2011</table></center></div><font face=tahoma><br><font color=pink>
                                                                                                <div style="clear:both;"></div>生长在如此的家庭, 并非我所愿, 也更加不是我自主..如果我可以有自主的权利的话, 我只可以选择我在此时此刻的想法. 或许太傻, 或许大家都认为太笨, 但是,自古以来, 再聪明能干的女人在爱情里,都好笨.我承认, 我也不过如此. 我知道好多人好羡慕我的美好家庭, 可是, 这幸福的笑脸后面, 是得隐藏多少痛苦, 多少血泪, 多少辛酸, 又有谁知?<br /><br />凡事得得第一, 得最乖最听话, 成绩考得最好....什么的什么都得是最最最...这是他们无形中从小给我的压力. 因为我清楚自己的职责, 因为我不想他们失望, 因为我无时无刻的为他们感到心痛, 在怎么熬不住, 我也默默忍受. 不是我不想解脱, 更加不是我要继续承担父亲所留下来的祸根, 而是除了这条路, 我并没有其他的选择. 我从未埋怨过父亲, 因为我知道, 一家人应该包容, 体谅, 和原谅. 所以, 我问过自己, 那为什么我可以接受他们的过错, 但他们不可以尊重我的选择.<br /><br />其实我深深了解, 他们是为我感到心痛, 是担心我的前途. 或许我还入世未深, 我并不明白现在的选择可能会是自毁前程. 那为什么大家不可以有一颗宽容的心, 去接受别人, 去原谅他人的过错呢? 难道曾经错过, 就不值得他人给予他改过的机会吗? 为什么大家永远只会以别人的从前来判断他的现在?<br /><br />从我做了选择, 我就知道这路会好艰辛, 好坎坷. 其实, 我不懂自己是否有这勇气走下去..我好怕.因为他们不知道我从新开始的过程, 我不怪他们..可是, 我还可以做什么...?事过境迁, 为何还要再提, 为何一定要在别人的伤口撒盐? 有没有人可以告诉我, 我还可以做什么?<br /><br />痛苦.挣扎.我好想念从前那个潇洒的我, 任性, 叛逆但自由.自私, 不顾及他人感受, 不想后果, 但我的生活过得好快乐. 我不记得, 从几何时, 我的洒脱不见了, 懦弱, 失去了权利和自主, 就是现在的我. 我为什么要做他们想要的我, 为什么我不可以做我想要的我? 因为他们不接受? 因为社会不接受? 因为亲朋戚友不接受? 谁可以把我还给我？<div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div><br><div align=right> 
                                                                                                <div align=right></font></font></font></font> <br><br>
                                                                                                                                                               
                                                                                              <font face="webdings" size="2" color="pink">YYY</font><BR>
                                                                                              <font face="Bradley Hand ITC"><div align=right><font color=white>因为曾经拥有，所以笑。</font><BR> 
                                                                                              <font face="Tahoma"><u>10:51:00 PM</u></font></div></div></div><br><br></div><br><br> 
                                                                                              
                                                                                                
                                                                                                </div>
                                                                                                <br><br>
                                                                                             <div style="position: absolute; top:50; left:15px; width:270px; background-color:(none); filter:alpha(opacity=100);"> 
                                                                                             <div class=h1>me *</div>
                                                                                             <div class=h3>
                                                                                             cihui<br>
                                                                                             - 24484 -<br>
                                                                                             1st feb<br>
                                                                                             Aquarius<br>
                                                                                             Republicans<br>

                                                                                                </div><br>
                                                                                                
                                                                                             <div class=h1>events *</div>
                                                                                                <div class=h3>
                                                                                             [January]<br>
                                                                                             1 - Happy 2010!!; work<br>
                                                                                             2 - Work<br>
                                                                                             6 - Psychology UT2<br>
                                                                                             7 - A&P II UT2<br>
                                                                                             9 - Work<br>
                                                                                             11 - Epidemiology UT2<br>
                                                                                             13 - Med Micro UT2<br>
                                                                                             16 - Work<br>
                                                                                             18 - Not available<br>
                                                                                             21 - Mum's birthday<br>
                                                                                             31 - Mingxi's,Jordan's,Zihan's 20th Birthday<br><br>
                                                                                                </div><br>
                                                                                                
                                                                                                <div class=h1>talks *</div>
                                                                                                <div class=h3>
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                                                                                                </div><br>
                                                                                             
                                                                                             <div class=h1>joys *</div>
                                                                                             <div class=h3>
                                                                                             <a href="http://memo-bear.blogspot.com">chiayee.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://black666star.blogspot.com">eugene.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://angela-is-me.blogspot.com">jialan.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://talkshitwithme.blogspot.com">jiaying.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://jessica-tells-you.blogspot.com">jingjing.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://krystalheng.wordpress.com">krystal.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://liting0329.blogspot.com">liting.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://www.miao21.blogspot.com">lualua.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://maggietay.tumblr.com">maggie.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://the-lastbeat.blogspot.com">maylwin.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://flowerhanky.blogspot.com">mingxi.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://nayuiq.blogspot.com">qiuyan.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://adollar4urthoughts.blogspot.com">wenjie.</a>
                                                                                             <a href="http://xinleii--x.blogspot.com">xinlei.</a>
                                                                                             <br></div><br>
                                                                                             
                                                                                 
                                                                                             
                                                                                             
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